Yeah, yeah, yeah....

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah, now I don't want to hear it. In truth several things have kept me away from my blog, most notably my laziness and addiction to Facebook. Alas, here I am and it just seems like now is a good time to give an update.

The last several months: Not much really has changed. I still live in Lancaster City, because my landlord gave me a pretty good deal at least until the house sells. Which brings up another thought. If you are interested in purchasing a fine house within walking distance to Lancaster General Hospital you might want to check out 129 East New Street. I hear it's on the market.

So what's prodded me to write. Aside from all the little jabs and underhanded encouragements would have to be my most recent weekend trip. So here goes...

Friday:
My good friend "The Weave" (also know in camp lore as "The Fastest Man Alive") an I grabbed some stuff, jumped into his Mazda and made the 4 hour trip to Pittsburgh in 5+ hours. Wait, what? Yeah, so apparently there was some big accident that I couldn't find any news stories about which diverted our route from the turnpike onto route 30 westbound. Honestly the view was beautiful, atleast whatever I was awake to see was, but the 18 wheeler in front of us made for a very slow trek across Pennsylvania.
After finally making it to Pittsburgh and my former housemate Bill (and his wife Kate) Shimko's house we made our way back to the Pitt Campus where 9.5 years ago I finished up my Film Studies degree. (9.5 years ago.... Good Lord... that means I graduated from Highschool.... oh snap I don't even want to think about it.) It was great to walk around and see how much the campus has changed and at the same time some of the old favorites. Memories that I'd rather not go into in this environment flooded back to me. I laughed to myself a bunch, mostly because "The Weave" didn't go to school at Pitt so most of the stories wouldn't have made sense to him. We finished off the Campus tour with a stop at Primanti Bros. Which is a Pittsburgh specific uh... sandwich... er meal... er I'm not really sure what to call it other than good and filling. Click onthe name to check it out. After that we headed back to the Shimko's and just hung out until a little after midnight... unless your name is "The Weave" who was crashed out at around 10:30... lightweight.

Saturday:
We came out to Pittsburgh primarily to go to the Pitt vs. Louisville football game but I was able to catch up with some long lost friends at the same time. It was encourageing for me maybe not so much for them I'm not sure. So I ended up getting up at like 7:00 in the a (freakin') m. to meet a friend at a Panera Bread on McKnight road (not a big fan of that name, but that's another story for another day) that I drove past twice before figuring out where it was hiding. Lucky for me I left a bit on the early side (yeah, I can sense your disbelief even as I write this but it happens every once and a while). After a huge mug of hot chocolate and something resembling a raisen, apple bread in muffin form (not so impressive) and an hour and a half of catching up I returned to the Shimko's in time to enjoy some pasta and head over to the stadium for the game.
Our seats were amazing and the crowd around us was hilarious. I remember turning to "The Weave" on more than one occasion, saying welcome to a Pitt sporting event. We sat in the 100 level at the 35 yard line right behind the Pitt Bench. The game was great, a schalacking with chants of "everybody scores" going on around us because well, just about everybody on Pitts team did score. Good stuff. They are in really good shape though the rest of the season is not going to be easy I think I might be making a trip to a bowl game... as long as it's somewhere warm.

I'm also coming to realize that my giftings extend beyond the creative, though I've often relyed on them because the came somewhat naturally. The last several years I have been somewhat running away from that which I feel I was really meant for. Does that involve film? Maybe, it definitely could but that depends on the setting I find myself in. I am relational, yeah, yeah I know we all are to a certain extent, but there are some people who just aren't good at it. I'm feeling pulled back towards youth/yong adult ministry, which in a sense is what I did at camp. I miss it. I miss being a part of peoples lives in such an intense way. That of course is noones fault but my own. Though I'm glad that I've been on the journey I have for the last year specifically because my heart for people, thier hurts, poor decision making and consciquences there of, and desire to see them grow has been enhanced and in a sense recentered.
I'm sitting here writing this, putting it out there, wondering what that next step is. School, job change, life change, signing papers? I don't know. Sometimes starting over and doing what you were really meant to do is as scary as... well something really scary. I'm tired of being scared, I'm tired of feeling trapped, stuck in a rut. I need to get out of Lancaster. I love my family but this place has a cloud hanging over it that is hard to explain to people. It's a mindset that bothers me, a traditionalism that goes far beyond it, something arrogantly legalistic, lacking the grace that God wants to pour out on us. (Well that was a rant). So, here's to planning the next steps... I leave you with this...

Father of lies, coming to steal, kill and destroy
All my hopes of being good enough
I hear him saying cursed are the ones who can't abide

He´s right, hallelujah, he´s right
The devil is preaching the song of the redeemed
That I am cursed and gone astray
I cannot gain salvation
Embracing accusation

Could the father of lies be telling the truth of
God to me tonight?
That if the penalty of sin is death, then death is mine
I hear him saying, cursed are the ones who can't abide

The devil´s singing over me an age old song
That I am cursed and gone astray
Singing the first verse so conveniently over me
He´s forgotten the refrain.
JESUS SAVES!!!

Shane and Shane - Embracing Accusations

Today...

I can't believe that it's been almost a month since we began the crazy cross country trek, which i affectionately call "The Spring Break Trip I Never Took." I did spend a little time with my family this past weekend at a little beach in Virginia called Chincoteague. Spending time with the family was great, the beach was okay, and those freakin' mosquitos just annoyed the heck out of me. I have to get my mom hooked on a west coast beach (no skeeters).

Anywho... so today... I used to like today. I hope that I like today again sometime in the future but for right now it has become one of my least favorite days. We'll just say that 9 years ago this was a pretty special day where a ton of friends came to hang out, eat some free food, and enjoy some dancing. That was 9 years ago though and a lot has changed since then, especially recently.

I have learned most recently the depths of grace and forgiveness needed in relationships. So I guess that's a good thing. One of the greatest things God ever did was make us relational beings, and one of the worst things God ever did was make us relational beings. I think there needs to be an understanding when stepping into a serious relationship (whether discipleship, marriage, or deep friendships) that both parties somewhere along the line are going to fail each other... at some point it will happen. And honestly that's not even the important part, the important part is what happens after a failing has occured. Do you get up after falling/being pushed over and take a step to make things better, to fight for what you had, to extend forgiveness and the grace that has been extended to you. It's hard. You don't want to, in fact most people's (including me) initial reaction/desire is to protect yourself from harm, to shut out the person or thing that caused you the pain that you felt. If that's your response then you will inevitably only be able to go so deep in said relationships before your defenses go up and you shut it down and want to start over somewhere else. I'm glad God doesn't shut it down with me. I've given Him more than enough reasons to, more than enough. Grace is amazing and sometimes painful.

So on a more shallow level of conversation I am very excited to get tickets to the Weezer show in Camden. I think I'm more excited about seeing thier touring mates Angels and Airwaves. These two bands made up a good chunk of the California Trip Soundtrack. Oh it's going to be good.

So here's to tomorrow... because it isn't today.

Just a few Pictures...

The morning that we left.

The infamous Arch of St. Louis. The city reminded us of Philly.

Candice our St. Louis Hostess. She was a sweetheart.
we connected with her through couchsurfing.com

Great food and Great Music in St. Louis.

A lot of pumps shut off after $75... which means that we always put more in than that. I think it was close to $1200 total for the trip.

New York, New York in Vegas. It was a fun time but I wouldn't be able to handle more than 48 hours there.

Only One of many beautiful pictures of Colorado, Arizona, Utah, Nevada, etc...

That's me trying to be artistic with the camera. I think we stopped for gas every 3 hours or so.

In California with an unloaded truck. Mission Accomplished!

LAGUNA BEACH = Awesome!

Jason's first In-n-Out Burger experience.

Jason, Bethany, Me (completely baked from Laguna Beach), and April at "The Dressden" in Hollywood. If you've seen swingers it's the place where they filled the "your a great big bear" scene.

Jason with Marty (also in Swingers)

Me and Bethany

Jason and I at the AVP Tour in Long Beach

Look at that freakin' vertical leap.

Surf lessons... and yes I did get up, just not for very long.
It's harder than it looks and man am I out of shape.

After a couple of spills.

The crew at Huntington Beach after the surf lessons
Back Back Back: Jared
Back Back: Weston
Back: Bethany, John
Front: Me, John's sister Kat
Taking Picture: Jason

This is where my feet got fried: Lesson learned - Reapply the sun screen!!

West Coast Dreaming...

How do you sum up a 9 day trip in a full Penske truck from Lancaster, PA to LA, California?

3000 miles, $1200 in gas, St. Louis, Denver, Vegas, Laguna Beach, Surf Lessons, the Dressden (if you know the movie Swingers, you'll know the Dressden), Cuban Bistro, Hanging with the Smith's, meeting fantastic new people, and we haven't even finished off the week yet. We still have beach volleyball and another possible surprise, before hanging out with Alex one of the man men from the ultra cool band "Five O'clock People."

One word... Epic. I've read and am working in re-reading John Eldridge's little book with a huge message with that same title/theme of "Epic." I can't even put into words how crazy, amazing, and grace filled this trip has been. God's hand was watching over us the whole way, the weather was absolutely perfect. It only rained for 10 minutes the entire trip out here. Jason and I commented back and forth several times about how amazing our country is. To go from the flat rolling greens of Kansas to the insane mountains of Colorado to the dessert of Nevada was absolutely mind blowing. The US is freakin' huge. You need to put driving across the U.S. via Route 70 and Route 15 North on your list of things you have to do before you die. The scenery is awesome. I am hoping to have a short video/slideshow available within a week or so. Stay posted.

Goofball Slacker and the drive...

Okay, So I've been a real goofball slacker as far as this whole blogging thing goes. To those who read I apologize. What's happening... For starters I m looking forward to a drive across country to L.A. in the middle of July. My good friend Jason and I are loading up a U-haul type truck with all of my landlord and friend Bethany's stuff in it and making sure that it gets to California in relatively one piece though I make no promises. We should get out there and be able to spend a couple of days chilling at the beach, eating at the Cuban Bistro (my mouth is already salivating), and enjoy the California life.
Needless to say it's going to be a couple of pretty crazy weeks leading up to the trip. I am planning a "Packing up Bethany's Stuff for moving" Day of July the 12th starting at 10:00 a.m. I could use a ton of help, boxes, and newspaper. So if you are in the Lancaster area and are willing to help out... heck even if you're not willing to help out swing on over. If you're not sure where I am then e-mail me at the address in my profile. I'm sure that it's on this blog somewhere.

In other news I have officially posted my portfolio highlighting some of the graphic design work I have done over the past couple of years. If you'd like to check that out I'd suggest clicking here, or here, or maybe here...yeah that should do it. If that doesn't work try here.

All in all life hasn't changed that much since the last post. Feel free to drop me a line and or comment to let me know you're alive.

later.

Cast a way...

Here I sit waiting for a friend of mine to show up. I haven't seen him in...wow...like 5+ years. It should be a great time of reconnecting. We've both been through our share of crap, both self inflicted and not. For those that are wondering who it is I'll say that his name is John W. and that's all I'll say. If you know him you'll be able to figure it out and if not then it doesn't really matter anyway.

I fell like Tom Hanks in the end of Cast Away, where he's standing at the cross roads trying to decide what direction he is going to go. After being stuck on the island, alone long enough for the woman he loved to find another man, he's found this somewhat unwanted feeling of freedom that comes with it's fair share of regrets. Okay so maybe I'm reading into it a little bit, but that's how I feel. I'm standing in the middle of an intersection that has an endless amount of roads that are more than happy to lead me in whatever direction they are going, and part of me is excited about the adventure, but the other part of me is angry that I had to come to this intersection in the situation and circumstances that I am in.

So my short term goal is to finish a script before the June 15th deadline to enter said script into the Final Draft "Big Break" Screenwriting Competition. So you may not hear from me for a little while because I'll probably be spending most of my time infront of a screen and keyboard, so I apologize on the frontside. Well, here's to the next great romantic comedy, (why the heck am I writing a romantic comedy?...I really don't know).

Over The Rhine

I've heard about this band for years but have never really taken the time to check into them at all, much to my loss. A couple of friends decided to go and see them play at Messiah College Last night and went along because I'm tired of sitting around my house. Man, am I glad I did. I don't really know how to explain their style other than well... Good! No more like frickin' Good!!! They are a great band to either stick on in the back ground to give you some nice chilling music or if you really like to dig deep into lyrics and or music you'll enjoy what you find. Deep, thoughtful, creative, fun and personal. That's how I'd describe them. If you get a chance check out some selected songs from their new album "The Trumpet Child" on their website record player.

Second Hand Serenade...

I started out this blog with lyrics from a song and I think that it's about time I do that again. This has been my hearts cry since November. Read between the lines if you're brave. Make sure you read all the way through because the last part is either full of hope or stubborn naivety.

It's Not Over by Secondhand Serenade

My tears run down like razorblades
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you ' or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over

I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die

But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever

It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over

Sorry for the downer post, but it had to happen sometime. If you want to know how I'm doing, just ask.

more of the little guy...

My little sister Crystal holding her new little man Lucas.

Andrew is one proud Papa and is going to make an excellent dad.

Lucas Anthony Good

Here are some of the first pictures of my nephew Lucas Anthony Good. I stopped by last night and everyone is doing great. Neither Crystal or Andrew could contain their joy though it was apparent that both of them were exhausted. enjoy the picks. I have a feeling that he is going to be a heartbreaker.

Nephew...

This morning at 7:43 a.m. my sister Crystal and her husband Andrew welcomed their son Lucas Anthony into the world. He weighed in at 6 pounds 12 ounces which is a little small for our side of the family but a solid young man none the less. This is the first picture that I've seen of the little man. The quality isn't that great because it came via my phone. That is a very proud grandma though she probably wouldn't like that term because it makes her sound old.

Teyhas - the invasion has begun...

So here I sit in a cool little house in... well somewhere close to San Antonio. My good friend Brad White (the most texan of texans I know and yes I know more than one), has acted the part of chaufer, friend, arms dealer, self defense trainer and trip planner. We have had a low key blast and are looking forward to the sun shining bright on Wednesday so that we can float down the river. As of this moment we have yet to shoot anything other than an airsoft gun (though we almost got to shoot a huge copperhead snake at Brad's parents but it was already dead). So here's to blowing up cacti and scaring the stink out of Charlie (Sir Charles, Chucks) ask me when I get home. Sorry this is so random. I'll update more later with pictures.

second round knock out....

Congrats to Michigan State as they knocked Pitt out of the NCAA tourney in the second round. One of these years we're going to get over the hump. So when does football start? I'm counting down the days.

Little Icon - Winning Big

Round One is in the books for the Panthers. After getting acclimated to the air in Denver the Panthers turned up the heat and shut down Oral Roberts. (click on the Panther Icon to read the story on Fox Sports). Next up - Michigan State on Saturday. Two similar styles should prove to be a great game. Fight - Pitt - Fight!

Final Four

Is this the year that the Basketball Program gets over the hump? I think it is. They just need to keep their focus and go to work every day. Fight - Pitt - Fight. Ah March Madness. There's nothing like it.

Baptism

I was baptized (sprinkled) when I was 11 years old but truth be told I only did it because my friend did and I had no real concept of what I was doing or even what it really meant. So for a long time I have wanted to be baptized for real. I mean full on immersion, because the symbolism involved is so profound and deep. Due to recent events in my life, both real world and spiritual I felt like this was something that I needed to do so I finally stepped up to the plate and went for it. I have posted the pictures that were available and honestly I'm making some pretty ridiculous faces. So just know that it was an amazing time. The man on the right in the white shirt and glasses is my father and it was extra special to have him be a part of this event. My family and some friends were present and it was a joyful celebration of what God is doing in me and with in my family. When I get my hands on the video I will post that as well. Obedience is a good thing. Though initially it may hurt or at least seem to hurt in the end it is worth it. Enjoy the pictures.

Revision...

I need to revise some updates about individuals in this picture: from left to right
Cliff Eberly (Australian coming to America this summer)
Steve Reed (Police Officer in Mesa, Arizona)
Amanda Martin (Nurse living on Duke Street in Lancaster, Pa)
Eric Sauder (Married and living closer to Philly)
Kendra Sauder (Not as big of a "The Mint" fan as previously reported.)

more graphics work...

I attended a baby shower last week for Eric and Regina Martin, or I guess it was technically for Malakai. It was held at the Prince Street Cafe in downtown Lancaster. There were a ton of people there who brought many gifts of clothes and childrens books. It was really a good time celebrating what God had done in the Martin's lives. I didn't give them anything because I was still finishing up the gift/project that I had intended for them. I enjoy giving gifts that people will remember, gifts that aren't just bought but created. So putting my gifts to work I came up with this. I have always been fascinated by heraldry (knights/squires/shields/swords and the importance of a name) and wanted to create something that had pretty significant spiritual meaning and spoke to the masculine heart that is growing inside this little boy. I started with the armor of God, specifically the shield of faith. Eric and Regina have been very open about their joys and frustrations through out their journey to become parents and yet through all the down times they never neglected their faith in God and His plan for them. The two swords on the shield represent the Sword of the Spirit. Why two you ask... good question. I was reminded of the story in the old testament about Elijah and Elisha right before Elijah was taken away. Elisha asked for a double portion of Elijah's spirit, and we ask that as well for Malakai. That God would bless him with a double portion of his spirit. Veritas means Truth, representing the belt of truth. To the left of the word Veritas is the Liberian Flag which is Malakai's Biological heritage. To the right is the U.S. Flag his new heritage. Malakai means "My messenger" or "My angel". Which is represented by the wings off of the sides of the shield. Blessings to you Malakai for the Lord has big, big plans for you. A messenger of truth, faith, strength and love.

Some Graphic Work

Easter is always a very special holiday for Christians but honestly I think it took on an even deeper significance after "The Passion Of The Christ" was released. Wow. Probably one of the most intense films I've ever experienced. We are gearing up for Passion Week here at Petra and I just finished up the design for the poster that will be placed around town. I am excited to increase my design knowledge. I feel like I am only beginning to tap the surface of what is available inside. Part of it has to do with learning the full functionality of the tools at my disposal and the other part has to do with not being afraid to push past the boring template mentality of if it ain't broke don't fix it. So here's to trying new things.

Welcome Malakai...

For those who haven't heard yet my good friends Eric and Regina Martin had the opportunity to meet their soon to be (officially in their care February 25th) adopted son Malakai Grant. If you get a chance you should check out Regina's blog. Not only is it full of some amazing pictures from her Radiant Images Photography business, but there are also some life updates. Many pictures of Malakai will be on display shortly. Check it out. www.radiantimages.blogspot.com

Congrats friends. Enjoy the journey. I hope Gideon doesn't get jealous.

Conquering The World...

So last night I had my first "Anti-Valentine's Day Party" since college.  A few friends gathered and we commenced on a 3 hour game of Risk.  It was a good time for us all to take our minds off this greeting card holiday so that we stay somewhat sane.  Needless to say the game had many twists and turns and even included a "nuke" rule which in all honest I believe helped me dominate the world.  I started out controlling Australia which I don't mind saying is a favorite, but ended up loosing the continent later on.  It was a well played game by all parties, but "The Black Plague" was triuimphant once again.  

death to the battery...

wireless keyboards are great until the batteries die and you have to hit each letter like three times before it shows up on the screen. Not much progress last night though I did watch "The Bourne Ultimatum" again. Good flick. The camera work will either make you sick or make you feel like you are part of the film which could also make you sick. Now my quest begins for batteries.

Act 1

For those that aren't familiar with the screenwriting process most movies are broken into 3 acts. Act 1 (pages 1 - 30), Act 2 (pages 31 - 90) and Act 3 (pages 91 - 120). Now of course this is a guideline to keep you on track much like the guard rails on the side of a mountain road are designed to keep you on the road. The end of each act is signified by a Turning Point, or major event in the story. I am getting close to that first turning point, the end of Act 1 but there is still much to be done before the turning point takes place. I guess it's better to have more to deal with than less to work with. The story should flow pretty smoothly as it is being written drawing from personal experience and that's all I'm going to say about that for right now. I look forward to finishing it and getting it out there.

Coloring In The Lines

Last night was a good night for me. I have been talking about needing to write, though I have been losing the battle against procrastination for the last several weeks. I have so many ideas about what I want to write. I wish I could do them all at the same time. So last night I made an executive decision and followed through with it. I wrote down the entire outline for my next script and am looking forward to fleshing it out. It will be a romantic flick, neither comic nor tragic though maybe both at the same time. I look forward to updating you as it progresses.

Radiant Images

A friend of mine owns a photography business that she built from scratch and within 3 years or so she has been blessed to have her wedding calendar continue to fill. When she asked me to to do this I asked her to pick out a few of her favorite pictures from over the years and the next day I get a DVD with like 800 pictures, (okay more like 180) on it. Regina is looking forward to increasing her business with family portraits, senior pictures, baby pictures and the like so if you are in need of an amazingly gifted photographer give Regina a call. Or if you know someone who is just print out the above image of Regina's postcard designed by yours truly and hand it out.

Simpler Times

Steve Reed (Police Officer), Pat Gann (Father), Matt Gehman (Student?)

Cliff Eberly (Australian), Steve Reed (Still a Police Officer), Amanda Martin (Nurse), Eric Sauder (Recently Married), Kendra Sauder (Big Mint Fan), doing Ginger Ale Shots in Party-Ridge.

A couple of pictures from a simpler time that I miss.

What's In A Name

A few people have asked me where the name "Newstar Films" came from. I could sit here and tell you a long drawn out story about how 7 guys, (of which I was one) drove from PA to Tennessee over night in the middle of the summer of 2002 to look at purchasing a camp and came up with the name "Newstar Ministries" (holy run on sentence) and thus I borrowed it from that. Or I could just tell you the shortened and abbreviated version which I just did.

Newstar actually comes from two different verses... New referring to... "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!" (2 Corinthians 5:17). And Star referring to..."so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like stars in the universe" (Philippians 2:15). So there you have it, now all I need is a cool logo (don't worry I'm working on it).

Curious Sun - The Rainchildren

Sometimes other people can express where you are at better than you can, especially through music.

Thanks Marty for adding to my life's soundtrack

I woke up feeling empty this morning
I didn't mean to drive so far last night
curious sun climbs through my window
and tries to open up my eyes
as I lie awake sleeping

I woke up feeling naked today
like all my leaves had fallen down
beneath my calloused feet
can dead brown grow into green
can reality come from a dream
I see my candle flicker

So tell me you love me and tell me that you care
cause sometimes my insecurities tie me down
this smell is so familiar
I've seen it I've said it I've done it all before
who I am I hear again

Tell her I love her and she tells me that she cares
and somehow these words will never rhyme
so tell me that you love me and tell me that you care
cause sometimes my insecurities tie me down

so please love me, love me and hold me and take me
oh and never let me go
so please love me, love me, oh please show me you love me
and never let me go
love me, love me, love me, love me
oh my Jesus
I really love you, love you, I really love you, love you
oh my Jesus, oh my Jesus
love me, love you, love me, love you, love me,
love me, love me, love me, love me

The Rainchildren were a band from Lancaster County who were blessed with a great local following including me.

www.rainchildren.com

Years in the Making

So it has finally been accomplished. 8+ years after walking away from the University of Pittsburgh with a degree in Film Studies (which means we're setting you up for grad school so that you can spend more money and not make any movies) I have completed my first feature length script. Several more have been started but hit the 60 page graveyard hoping to be exhumed at a later time and shocked back to life with the writers version of an AED...CLEAR!
I am currently torn between fighting through another screenplay so as to enter it into a competition and working on a pilot for a TV series that I believe has a ton of potential. We shall see, we shall see. Here I am in Lancaster, fighting everyday for something more.